Rough Edit

This is a proclamation of love!
Not to some man or woman
I've shared my bed with
Not to the family that's known me
For 24 long, hard years
Not even to camel cigarettes, red bulls and sex
The only three vices I've had for Heaven knows how long
So forgive me

This is a letter of love to
The girl I found in a 3rd grade classroom
(I was in 3rd grade too, so it's okay)
My guts spill the warmest love,
Even for her
Sparks fly through diamond-glazed eyes when she's near

Because she...
She would lie with trains for me
The same trains that might terrify her
Would fall victim to the heroic tenacity she wields
To protect me from harm

I share a cigarette with her
Unlike the way I share a cigarette with anyone else
The smoke we exhale is not hollow
But loaded with explosives
And when it meets
We are the still ones...
Save for the tremble our knees make
To shake off the terminal illness
Perched upon them-
Waiting to take us
As if we appreciate a guest list

I lack the fingers and toes
Necessary to count the corners
My girl has roped me out of
And I should feel guilty
Because like a small child I continue to fuck up
Knowing a clear conscience is right around the corner
Ready to lay heavy on my shoulders
Lifting me up to lightness that is "good"
But she says she doesn't mind
So I don't mind

The weight in my bones
That is the want to be better
Is drowned out by the need on my tongue
To be drunk with her

Taking over pretty bottles spilling tequila
Laced with euphoria
Lube our throats and
Lay a fire in our bellies
And stumble us out the door
We are rabid dogs foaming for the next big thing
Because we never fucking quit

Death waits behind the steering wheel
Unassuming of our strength
"With you," she says, "I am invincible."
"With you," I say, "I am invincible."
We beat him with goldenrod fists
To leave him lying on the curb in a mess of ash

Shared ownership of the world
And you better believe we take it
There is no property value
The keys are at our fingertips
Ready to unlock any door we see fit

Man, I want to be close to her
Far closer than I've been to anything before
I want to be inside of her
Not in a sexual sense
No, in a 'perched on top of her heart' sense
Feet kicking with every beat and pump
Careful not to kick too hard
Lest I cause a disruption

She makes me want to
Speak better French
Sans elle, je ne suis rien
Those ears don't deserve
My ship-wreck English
She makes me want to
Wear longer dresses
To prevent a sacrifice of strong morals
In favor of lustful desires
Regardless of my physical clothing
I am bare naked with her
Naked of all filth, shame, fear, fault and regret
Naked of all things but my
Cloak of 'content'

You see,
God once softly spoke in my ear,
"Now you have an idea of what's waiting for you up there."

She is not my church
But rather the podium
I liquor lean against
Without the podium
I trip over my own little toes
Crushing teeth
Bursting eyeballs
Splitting lips
And falling apart

She is not my church
But rather the reason I stand here preaching
Without the reason
I am lost in a cloud of doubt
Believing in nothing
Refusing to live or love or fight
Lying to the world
And falling apart

She is not my church
But rather everything held inside of it

Coming Soon

Coming Soon:

Saint Cupcake
La Calaca Comelona
JPod
A rough chapter from my book
Your Mother ;)

If You Haven't Heard: A Single Man

    This has a couple spoilers including the ending of the movie. If that bothers you, obviously you should go away or try and avoid the last paragraph. Maybe you should have read the book.   


     Let us begin with the man who made it happen, shall we?

Tom Ford, being as beautiful as his creations.

    Do you recognize this classically handsome machine of a man? He is a genius of a fashion designer, master of all things Gucci, romantically successful (23 years with his partner Richard Buckley) gentleman and now a creator of beautiful film work. He is Tom Ford. 

    I may be a little late, but I have just seen A Single Man. It is the film debut by Ford and his production company FADE TO BLACK based on the novel by Christopher Isherwood. I may on occasion use the term 'best ____ ever' a bit loosely, which is why I will not say this is the best anything. Pretty damn close though. I can honestly say five minutes after the end credits were done, tears of I'm still not sure what rolling down my face, that A Single Man is now and will forever be one of my favorite films ever. It is stunning and beautiful visually and emotionally. The credit of the story can go to Christopher Isherwood, but it is the cast (Colin firth, Julianne Moore and Matthew Goode) that emotionally and mentally charges the movie. It is Tom Ford who brings it all to life with his meticulous style and knack for making nearly anything a visual masterpiece. Even at it's saddest moments, there was something there... Something that locked the sadness from entering your own heart. Something much more than sympathy that just falls short of empathy.

   A Single Man is the story of George Falconer (Firth), a gay college professor in the 1960s who has recently lost his partner Jim (Goode). Aside from battling the loss of his absolute love, George has to deal with the idea of suicide, an old partner (Moore) in her own mid-life crisis who still appears to be in love with George because she can't come to love herself, and the arduous task of masking a sea of raw emotions of hurt, lust, loss, grief, terror and despair on all levels. All the while you can honestly feel him coming in and out of happiness and depression as Ford brings them to fruition through color. It's something you don't notice in an obvious way. Everything appears dismal and dry one second and just from the pure excellent beauty George sees in his secretary's face, the red of her lips and the green of her eyes and her nearly milky skin come to a brilliant life.

    George's flashbacks of his life with Jim are more real than most films can portray a couple. This I think is due to Colin Firth really wanting and loving and putting himself in the role of George. Even in the present, it was difficult to not feel too heartbroken and attached to George, as if I should help him, or give him a hug. The situations were real. The emotions and challenges were very real. Might I add; the uses of color and the filming techniques had a very legitimate feeling of authenticity. One of my favorite things about it was that it was not overbearing or fake. I think that in itself takes a certain amount of raw talent and dedication.

    George is stalked down (for lack of a better word) by a student (Nicholas Hoult) who claims to only have innocent intentions. He wants to talk, let George open up. He's motivated by George's passion and sincerity, but after a while it gets a little creepy. It's not teacher after student but rather student after teacher. I will admit it never goes too far. It's almost as if we're being tricked, but that is the trick because on the surface it's quite obvious his student has some underlying feelings for George.

    "I could die right now, and it would be okay. I would die happy." Or something along those lines. We've all said it; we've all heard it. Jim says this to George earlier on in a flashback and George replies something to the likes of "Well, I wouldn't be very happy so shut up..." Throughout this entire film you see George going through all of his difficult emotions, his bright but brief moments of euphoria and you feel it with him. Finally, after carefully planning his suicide he has an unexpected night with his student Kenny (Hoult) and eventually comes to the realization that life can be good again. People are good. Nothing is so broken that it can't be repaired. He sits and prepares for sleep and has a heart attack. While on the floor he sees Jim one last time and that looks of complete reassurance and relaxation overcomes his face.

    This is when I finally broke down. It wasn't completely because I was sad, but I definitely wasn't overjoyed or anything like that. It was coming back to what Jim said about dying happy. George finally felt that, and that was it. What if he never felt that content again? It didn't matter. If we could all go with a smile on our face, I wouldn't have a problem with that. This was a gorgeous, poignant story everyone needs to read and see. I should warn though, if you don't like having to actually think, or pay too much attention (it does feel rather slow at times) this isn't for you. But then again, nothing with much substance is for you, is it? A Single Man is crafted in a way not many films are. I think it's extremely rare that someone can take visual, emotional and mental beauty and combine it all in such a smooth, enveloping way.

 One of my favorite uses of color was this scene in particular.

  Julianne Moore and the10,000,000 hours it took on her hair were nothing short of dazzling.

Thank you Tom Ford.

Another one of my favorite scenes for the conversation taking place and the, again, almost perfect use of contrasting blacks and whites and saturation.

Jim and George in the earlier years.

Colin Firth as George

When color does show up, the contrasts and symmetry are always nearly perfect.

Also, these are Tom Ford and Richard Buckley's smooth fox terriers Angus and India who stir up a bit of emotion as well for George.

Damn those is some fly kicks! Thank you again, Tom Ford.

Even the poster brings a somewhat deep kick to my chest.

Podnah's Pit - A PDX Treat

    For someone who doesn't like to eat pork, the pulled pork sandwich I devoured was absolutely body melting. Yes, I could have just melted onto the bench. It was so tender and juicy; the flavors were just right. I did toss on some bbq sauce, and I did try the honey mustard sauce they had. I want it in my home, now. They roast everything fresh, daily in their fire pit which is really nice and actually makes a huge difference.

    As a bbq lover, I am a HUGE HUGE HUGE fan of cornbread. I'm extremely picky about cornbread. I'll give everything I had from Podnah's a 5/5 except for the cornbread. For that, I must give a 3.5/5. The flavor was mediocre and there was something about the batter... Something off about it.

    My simple side was pinto beans which were really good... For pinto beans. I didn't know I could ever like them as much as I did that day. The sauce they were in was so easily remarkable; nothing fancy, just a really easy, yet really flavorful sauce. There was nothing too complex about any part of this meal which I absolutely love. My friend got the pork and beans which had massive chunks of pork and it just looked SO mouth watering! I wasn't in a booze mood so I just had a Boylan's root beer. My friend had a coke. Both of which were of the 'made with pure cane sugar' variety, and I love that.

    Last but not least, the service. I mean, it was pretty slow business. Lunch was almost over. The service was as excellent as it could have been. We didn't have any extraordinary demands. Our food arrived quickly; he tended to our needs like any great housewife should.

    I can't get over how simple the menu is. Why do we not see this anymore? I had about 5 things to choose from at Podnah's. Can we get back to the simple joys of simply eating simply? I'll definitely be back, as I was completely torn between the pulled pork, the half chicken and the smoked trout. I also have to try my friend's pork and beans. Mmmm mm!

    I love food, and I'll always be the first to talk smack if something isn't great (especially if it's praised so highly such as half the places in PDX I've ventured to) and be the first to commend it if it's soodelish! I would seriously recommend Podnah's any day of the week. Rodney and his fine team deserve every ounce of acclaim they may receive.

    To top everything off, the group next to us had a very adorable dancing Boston Terrier who I believe was named Rudy. Baby fever? Talk about a mad case of puppy fever! He was so damn precious!

Insert drool here: Pulled pork sammy, pinto beans, coonebredd, and a muy bueno root burr!

I wish I would've taken off the b/w setting. He had beautiful brindle markings in his black spots.

Podnah's is open 

Tuesday thru Friday; 

Lunch 11am - 5pm

Dinner 5pm - 9pm.

Saturday and Sunday;
Breakfast 9am -1pm
Lunch 12pm - 5pm
Dinner 5pm - 9pm

and is located @ 1469 NE Prescott St in beautiful Portland, Oregon! 

If Religion Is The Answer

    Aids of the religious nature are often targeted and killed by insurgents. Such was the case this past week for a group of ten Christian medical aids who were unarmed and without security. A German, a Briton, two Afghans and six Americans. A Muslim driver was spared after reciting passages from The Quran and pleading for his Muslim life.

    None of this really shocks me. It should; it really, really should. A Taliban spokesman named Zabiullah Mujahid told the Associated Press that they killed the aids because they were "spying for the Americans" and "preaching Christianity." The Taliban also said the team was carrying Dari language bibles and "spying gadgets." Although I'm not surprised, I'm still sickened by the things that happen every day. According to NPR, civilian war deaths in the first seven months of 2010 have increased 6 percent in the same time frame as last year. But really, what can I do? Could I travel to some of the more isolated villages in Afghanistan or go to Kabul and preach the word of equality? Could I tell them that it doesn't matter what God you believe in, we all go to the same place? No. I can't. I can't really say some Americans are any better though. This to me (and please do not berate me for making such a dramatic comparison) is walking a fine line with the Westboro Baptist Church led by Harry Reid. You know, the man who is apparently on good enough talking terms with The Man upstairs that he's been told God Hates Fags. That piece of shit. No, Harry Reid hasn't killed anyone. But this is the lack of acceptance and the cumbersome hatred that continues to tear the world apart.

    Tom Little, who was among the ten dead aids had been living in Afghanistan for about 30 years. He spoke fluent Dari, raised three daughters, and survived both the Soviet invasion and civil war of the 1990s that destroyed a significant amount of Kabul. He was arrested in 2001 along with a few others and sent out of Afghanistan for trying to convert people to Christianity. Such wasn't really the case though, I believe. I think it's unfair to assume medical aid workers and teachers are trying to convert people to Christianity when really, they are a handful of the rare few who actually just want to help people. Yes, they are Christian. Yes, they may speak of their God and the salvation he brings, but I honestly don't think these people are on missions to raise little Christian minions.

   Although it may be a bit off topic, I would recommend this book on the troubles of Afghanistan, the Taliban, etc...

      

The Steaming Pile That Is Nine

    I have not seen every Daniel day-Lewis movie; not by a long shot. Every DDL movie I have seen though, I have loved. He can play any character. He can carry an entire movie on his shoulders. He can do no wro - wait... That's a lie. That is a lie because I just sat through the movie Nine. One hundred and eighteen. That is how many minutes Rob Marshall owes me. No, that's a lie too. I'll only hold him to 113 minutes. Marion Cotillard has a five minute piece that is just beautiful. She's virtually always stunning, and the five-ish minutes I watched her were five-ish amazing minutes that nearly brought me to tears.

    I watched this movie because Nine was a great book/broadway musical based on Federico Fellini's film 8 1/2 which was "semi" autobiographical. It's actually quite a story and had the potential to be a great thing. I'm very surprised because Rob Marshall did extraordinary work with Memoirs of a Geisha and Chicago. He just really missed the mark with this one. What surprises me even more is, like I said, it had the potential to be GREAT. You have Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Sophie Loren, Nicole Kidman and Judi Dench! Where did this film go wrong? I can't figure it out completely. It was dry, slow, the choreography was weak, Kate Hudson and Fergie were involved... Plegh!

    I digress. In my honest honest honest opinion, this movie is shit. I can't even begin to dream up reasons it was nominated for four Academy Awards... But then, Robert Downey Jr. was nominated for Best Supporting Actor for his role in Tropic Thunder, 2009. Really? Okay.

    Watch five-ish minutes of Nine for Marion Cotillard and you'll be set. Otherwise, don't waste your money, time, hard drive space, any of it!

She is beautiful, isn't she.

Scott Pilgrim vs. Any Movie Ever Made

    I was recently very lucky to see an early screening of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World thanks to my semi-geekster significant other, Burt Saxby. Let me just tell you something ladies and gentlemen; this was by far one of my favorite movies of 2010. I haven't read the graphic novels yet, but I am well on my way. Before I go any further, I just need to tell you a little something about myself. I am one of the pickiest people you will ever meet. If I don't like one actor or actress the entire film is ruined. I'm picky. Real, real picky. I find at least a handful of things wrong with even my most treasure, favorite movies. Scott Pilgrim kept a smile on my face the entire time. I can't think of anything wrong with it off the top of my head, but who knows? I might as I continue.

    First I will start with the cast. In my opinion, the most important part of any and every film. Without a strong, supportive cast, a movie is nothing. Mary Elizabeth Winstead just about broke my heart (the realization I could never be with her did it), with her big doe-eyes, punch-to-the-gut wit and que sera sera attitude. Michael Cera has been dropping off my list of favorable people ever since... Well, since Arrested Development said adios! But this wasn't Michael Cera. This was someone else completely full of talent and drive and hilarity. This was someone who never overdid it. This was a genius. Everyone else did a wonderful job at portraying an evil ex, a bitter sister, a psycho stalker ex-girlfriend and a very gay roommate. "What? Gay roommate? I haven't read the books tell me all about him ohmyGAWD!" Yea, he was one of my favorite parts too. Would you like to know why? Kieran Culkin is why. I love anything Culkin, and when Kieran shows up, it's like someone super glued a smile to my face. (I recommend Igby Goes Down or The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys if you really want to see KIERAN KIERAN KIERAN.)
 
    Hmm... Let's see... Brandon Routh as blonde evil vegan ex who is actually a cheating vegan and thanks to The Vegan Police played by Thomas Jane (yum!) and Clifton Collins Jr (har har!) he absolutely loses like a loser should lose.

    The use of color in the movie was fantasmic. No matter what was going on, you couldn't not be in a great mood. There were spurts of laughter rolling through the audience, due to everyone carrying their own hilarious weight. The battle scenes were exciting and certainly kept me on the edge of my seat.

    I'm bored with this one. I just want to go over the entire movie in detail, but I can't. All I can say is I will be back when it hits theaters in a few days to see it again. You should be there. This is one of the best movies of 2010 for several reasons. Quality, quantity, hilarity, sincerity, I'm outity.

    Also! If you haven't already, pick up the books! If you want something comparable to the film, these are it!

Clear the Curtain!

    It's not really a "curtain call" so to speak, but these boys can have the applause now. There will be some things I just fail to mention, or don't speak of well enough. For that, I give you Burt Saxby and Kumi Churnanguez at Writing With a Broken Pencil. If you love comic books, anime, ninjas, sour wit wth a cotton candy center and whaaaaever, please see these gentlemen. I suppose that's all I have to say about THAT. I'm really good at showing support. Right? Right?!

Salutations.

    Salutations is my fancy way of saying hello. 

    In the case you haven't heard, the interwebs is full of anything and everything you need to know about anything and everything. If you are the kid of person that finds him/herself out of the loop more often than not, hopefully you will come here to update yourself. I have nothing but time to tell you all about whatever it is I feel you are missing out on. 

    Whether it be politics, good reads, fine eats, television worthy of degrading yourself to hermit-status or music; I will be here for you, reviewing it all so you always know what to expect.

    Stick around. You just might learn something.

    For my take on words of wisdom, all things random and babbles about myself, please see 'Words of The Wise-ish'